Holiday Eating Tips

Holiday Eating Tips

Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a
Holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit.
In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next
door, where they're serving rum balls.

Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like a
fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even
rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any othert
ime of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going
to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat.
enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you
think. It's Christmas!

If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the
whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone.

make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with
gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made
with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why
bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic
transmission.

Do not have a snack before going to a party in an
effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a
Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots
of it. Hello?

Under no circumstances should you exercise between
now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have
nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a
10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

If you come across something really good at a
buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape
and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't
budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you
leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a
slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two
apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you
get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded
with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
costs. I mean, have some standards.

One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you
leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been
paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry,
January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
Intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
Preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in
One hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up,
Totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

I don't know where this came from, but I thought it was tooooo funny not to share!!

Cool Things About December In Arizona...

Well, howdy ya'll!!! I know it seemed as though I'd never get back on here and let 'cha know that I was still kickin' out here in Southern AZ, but here I am, bein' sassy and tryin' to keep the household runnin' as a Single Mom. Let me tell ya...it ain't no fun. I think if every room had heat, I would be to deal with all that goes on with running a household, but as it is, I have heat in 2 rooms, so it's hard to function in those other 6 rooms. Yes, it's cold here. How cold, you ask? Well, it freezes here at night, and the highs are somewhere in the 60's. Sure, you're thinking that it's much colder than that wherever you are, but do you have 12 inch thick adobe walls? The kind of walls that the cold penetrates and you have to fight to keep the cold out once it permeates those walls? Ha! I didn't think so. But really, this isn't a super whining fest for me. Although it's fun 'cuz I can whine and I don't see your reaction and you can't give me any smart-alecky retorts.

Soooo, being a Single Momma isn't fun. I always had respect for single Moms, (or I would shake my head sadly at them when they told me of their single parenting woes but secretely said, "HA! Shoulda tried a little harder to prevent this situation", which is narrow minded and cruel now that I look back on it), but now I think they are amazing. Most of them have to work, I don't. And I still have a hard time keeping the dishes washed.

While you may think that this is pointless and going nowhere (and you're probably right) I do have a point. And it is: As a new Single Mom (SM - like Super Mom), I have found myself asking for help when I never thought I would. And asking for help much sooner than I thought. Like this weekend. And Hele's only been gone 2 weeks. Sheesh, I miss that guy. He called and said "Do you miss me?", "Of course!" I replied. "I have to take out the trash! It stinks!". Ha, ha. I was just being funny.

So my parents decided to take Mr. B shopping with them this weekend. I thought that was a really neat idea and decided to go shopping as well. I observed many interesting things while visiting the big city. I felt like the country mouse visiting the hugest city in the world, it was amazing.

First Observation: No matter who you are, how much you weigh, or what the weather is outside, you can wear whatever you want inside the mall. There was this really skinny guy wearing the most skin tight jeans and henley I've ever seen. He looked like a very tall, white walking stick.
Then (of course) there was a very, VERY large hispanic woman wearing a black skirt that came halfway up her thighs - when she was standing up. And she only stood up once the whole time she was in the food court, and that was to order her food.

Second Observation: You can sell anything in the mall this time of year. That is, you can sell anything in the mall in ARIZONA this time of year. Like the booth that sold Snow Makers. Yep. No, really!! They had the small one that would make enough snow for 2 snowballs for $19.95 on up to the big one that could make enough snow to make a snowman for $59.99. And they were giving demos, and they had a bigger line than Santa Claus. It was hilarious.

Third Observation: Well, um...this kind of falls into the second observation, but I like this store so it earned it's owned observation. I went into a flip flop store that was called "The Flip Flop Store"!!! It was sooo cool! They had every kind of brand of flip flop! I must have spent 45 minutes in there looking at the beautiful array of my ultimate favorite foot covering. The manager finally came over and gave me a 20% off coupon to get me to make up my mind. The lady behind me in line said, "Only in AZ will you find a store completely devoted to selling flip-flops". I replied, "What's really funny is that it's open on December 9th and business is booming!!".

That was part of my trip to the big city on Saturday. It was fun to shop without my son and escape for awhile, but it was nice to wake up to a little warm body snuggling up to me this morning to tell me that he got to see "Nanta Clausth" in W@lm@rt yesterday. So, I'm back in the action with my blog, and I think I went through "Blogger Withdrawl" because, HOLY HECK! I just can't stop typing! I promise I will be more diligent in writing so ya'll can check out what's going (or not going) on with us out here.

Wow, I'm Feelin OLD!

But I'm not, right? Old that is. But I have a friend who is the Costco Vanna. You know....Sam's Club, Price Club, whatever it is you call a HUGE warehouse full of oversized packages of stuff that fits nicely in your bathroom if you only plan to squeeze in , do your bidness and squeeze out kind of place. Oh, they hand out yummy free samples too. Ummm....my point being...Oh yeah! My friend buys everything at Costco and if we don't , she points out all the reasons we should have bought our whatever it was there and we can take it back like 3 years later as long as you have the receipt and you can get twelve of them and you won't have to ever worry about buying one ever again and neither will your children. Will schmill. My kids are gettin toilet paper when I die. And again...my point being...

Yes, of course....*thinking quickly back to what the heck am I doing here anyways? How did I get here....oh yeah....* I was online looking for the 2nd generation BLUE iPod because I am obsessed with it and I must have it (or the red one, it's wicked pretty too). Silver just doesn't do it for me, it must be blue (or asforementioned red) or the music doesn't sound as good and it's too heavy and not as bright and doesn't have the long battery life and it just looks cool, alright Gila Man! I mean Gosh! It's the same price already.

Gee...I was just, ya know...killin' a little time ('cuz I have so much of it) and just cruisin' the Costco website, checkin things (like the iPods) out and seein' if there's any shift in the color situation (no shift, if you're wonderin') and I remember that Noah really liked these flash card type things that Costco Vanna had at her house that he LOVED. They were cute and helped children develop their language skills and Noah just liked the pictures so I thought it would make a cute Christmas gift. So I click on "search" and enter "flash cards" thinking that the flash cards would be addition, subtraction, mulitplication, colors and things of that nature. And up pops a page on digital memory flash cards. For holding pictures and info. Not flash cards. No addition. Nothing like what I was expecting. I feel like a big dork and I just thought I'd share that with you so that if you were having a bad day and feeling like a dork as well, to bad!!! I win. I must sleep now...obviously.....

On Having Kids.....

I read a quote today that said, "The sweetest time I think of you is at the end, when the day is through" - Emily Dickenson. Now, from what I've read, Ms. Dickenson never had any children. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that she MUST have had some neices or nephews or some annoying neighbor kids running around the place messin' with her poems, shufflin' papers, and just giving her a hard time. Because how could someone without kids think up something that explains EXACTLY what us parents are sometimes thinkin' at the end of the day?

*Sigh*As you can see, I've had a rough day. When we went to town last Thursday, both of the boys came home with runny noses. So today (Monday - which is always the worstest day of the week anyways), I had to deal with two little boys who had low-grade fevers, mild coughs, and NASTY ever running noses. I probably washed my hands 600 times today. Fun, huh?

So tonight when I checked on my son (who had a super long bath and lots of decongestant) and saw that he was sleeping soundly and peacefully, I thought to myself, "Awwwwww, isn't he just sweet?". And all the junk from the day slipped from my mind and I remember wicked cute way he said "I love you more" to my "I love you" (thanks, Candace). I think of the way he repeated me when I said "Michael Ryan, eat your cereal" and he just said it in the same tone of voice and everything. It was cute. I also loved how he shared his little piece of homemade jerky with me and said, "Here Momma, this for you. Chew up pease! Mouf tlosed pease!". Oh, it makes my heart melt that I have this little guy in my life. He makes it all complete. I guess that good 'ol Emily Dickenson did know what she was talking about after all.

Dressing Up My Two-Year-Old (Watch out people...this thing is about a lame subject and has dorky random comments galore)

Well, I'm trying to get back in the swing of the bloggin' scene. I have been out of the building for awhile, and nobody has noticed, so now I feel confident that I can write whatever I want about anybody I want. Nice.....

This is probably an one of the most boring blogs I have ever written and I don't know why I suddenly decided to type it out....Ooooohhhhh, I know! It's because it's been rollin' around in my noggin for a coupla days and I'm ready to throw it all out on the table and wash my hands of it. I will now stop obsessing about a completely ridiculous topic and get on with something really important....um....I'll think of something important later.

I came accross an interesting question the other day during a yahoo answers session. "Do you dress up your kid and how and why"? Why did I find it interesting? It wasn't the question so much as the aswers provided by weenie-whiners and non-parents. This is a pic of Noah when he was about 14 months old...and this was all I could find for him to wear to church. He looks fine, has the nice khaki color going on, but how many people even get their kid this dressed up for any occation?

Argument #1: "Oh, my kid will get dirty and RUIN these clothes!"

Answer: Um, HELLLLOOOO?!?!?!?!? Have we not put a man on the moon? Has one single woman not given birth to 8 live babies? Can we not converse with another complete and total stranger on the other side of the world already?!? Um, it's not rocket science, it's called "Spray 'N Wash". Buy it. Spray it. Wash clothes. Dry clothes. Clean clothes. The End...Next Excuse Please.

Argument #2: "I don't want to make my children wear clothes like that. I want them to feel free to express themselves by choosing what they want to wear and how they wear it. My child doesn't have to fit in the same box as your (in a condesending tone) child."

Answer: Oh.My.Holy.Tar. Then put your kid in a DIFFERENT colored tie with a DIFFERENT colored shirt. I'm not sayin' that all children should look like little missionaries in white shirts and blue ties with dark blue slacks and black shoes! You buy it and let them choose from what they have in their closet. And that whole "let them express themselves with their clothes" statement is gonna get you in trouble...I envision bright pink hair with a clashing puce see through itty-bitty tank-top (w/no bra) topping a pair of very low-riding daisy dukes with yellow socks and polka-dotted tennis. Or can I just use one word...can we say "Goth"? Good luck with that.

Argument #3: The only time we get dressed up is for the holidays. It's all I can afford and what other day is as important?

Answer: Well, if you are shopping at Dillards or Ambercrombie, I can totally understand the whole price issue. But buy clothes when they're cheap and on clearance and don't worry about buying a size too big - because one thing that has been proven to happen to every child - they GROW. Weird, huh?

And so ends another happy, peppy, post from yours truly. Um, I think that's me. I am finally back in the swing of things and have figured out how to get blogging again....I wait for my Gila-Monster to fall asleep!!!

Whoooooooo-Hooooooooo! Happy Day!!!

Oh my gooooodness. My husband has FINALLY started talking to me again - I found our digital camera!! Yippeeeee! This is just the greatest news in our family right now. Silly though you might think it, it has been a source of major upheavel since we returned from our little family vacation. What? You wanna know were I found it? ARE YOU KIDDING? Whenever anyone has been searching extensively for something of importance, it is most usually found in some embarrassing place that you have either already searched or thought it unimportant enough to look through. Fortunately enough for me, Gila Man is the one who happened to search this place first, so when I found it, he wasn't all, "Well, I TOLD you to look there!!". Fine, fine....

While looking through the diaper bag to get a tissue for Mr. B's allergy induced runny nose, I reached into the inner-most pocket of the bag and underneath a pile of crumpled, empty kleenex packages was a strap. When I grabbed it and pulled it out of the bag, I nearly cried!!! There was the "Precious" that Gila Man was obsessing about! I was at the indoor playground at the mall, so everyone was staring at me cuz I FA-REAKED out. I got a huge hug and the dishes were done for me after dinner when I showed the camera to my hubby and him about how I searched and took the house apart and spent so much time trying to locate it because he was so upset about losing it. I'm the worst wife. Ever. Oh, well. He's happy and we have our camera. We'll post pics of Mr. B in his glasses as soon as I take a couple. That's all for tonight.

Soothing My Soul.....

Well, I've been having some trouble lately trying to...um...locate our digital camera, and since Gila Man continues to remind me of how much the dang thing cost, I'm starting to get a little nervous. Why am I sharing this? Because if you start seeing pictures on my blogs that you've sworn to have seen before, you'll understand why - I'm trying to fill up space and make my page seem fun.

The past couple of days have been rough for me as I've been feeling down and have been sooooo busy and stressed out. I tried to drink more Dr. Pepper (which always seemed to do the trick before), but to no avail. Then I tried excersing, no good. So I tried singing more, getting more music (for my mp3 player), praying more, goofing off with the kids more, gardening, and scrapbooking, but I was stuck in a funk. I even went shopping. And it was fun, of course. I spend $41.52 and saved $72.51. Saving money always jolts me out of a rut! But not this time.
I just felt blue. Like a pale, hovering hue that is neither touching the sky nor the ground and seems to be clinging like a soft spider web. Just a sad, blue hue feeling that couldn't be chased away.

My Mom called this morning and said she picked an amazing amount of peaches off her tree in the back yard and was freezing them. She asked if I wanted any and I said I would be there this afternoon to learn how to freeze peaches so they wouldn't get all brown and icky and gross when they thawed. So we sat and peeled peaches. Then we sliced them, added some magic powder, stirred them, let them sit, stirred again, marked the bags, bagged them, and had tons of fresh, organic peaches to last the whole winter through (that's a lot of peach cobbler).

So when you have to sit and peel peaches, you talk. It's really nice. So I talked and my mom listened.
Then she talked and I listened.
Then I talked.
Then she talked.

It was nice. We shared a lot. I learned how I could best deal with a sticky situation that I had been losing sleep over. She helped me let go of the things that were clinging to me. Like the pale blue hue. Where did it go? I don't know. But as I left her home, I turned the radio up and listened to my music and I felt the hue lag further and further behind. I think my mom kept it. I hope I helped her too.

I am one dang lucky woman. My mom is here, and close, and I like her and she likes me. She even likes my husband. Well, everyone likes my husband, but it's nice that my mom can call him his pet name and he doesn't even blink about it. My dad is here to. What I would do without them makes my stomach clench and my heart hurt. But they are here now and I love them and they love me and they help me even though I'm 28 and think I don't need help or I can handle it my own way...there they are...soothing my soul.

Here's A Little Murmmering..... (by the way...this paticuar blog is wicked long)

Ahh, one of the last pictures of summer. Now that the rains have hit (And we are soooooo grateful for, of course! Even if they should prevent us from enjoying the sweet, cool, waters that still beckon to us, frigid though they are), it's too cold to get the kids in the water.

So, here I go again. With the complaining, and the trash talking, and the mummuring. I just looked over what I've written and it looks freaking long. It shouldn't be that bad to read - it might even be a little bit funny. Try it...

I love a lot of things in life, and since I've been working on what it is to "be" me, things have been going a WHOLE lot better. But once in awhile, there just seems to be something that happens - not always directly, mind you - but something that just happens and I'm like, "Geeeeez, that was awful!" or, "Wow, that just made me want to knock her big, ugly, poofy, dumb, frizzy block off!".

Obviously, one of those things happened today. I had to run to SV to get new frames for Mr. B since he ran the old ones over with his tricycle. Yep. He only had them for one week. Serious. Anyways...went to SV, got the new frames, went to Ross, then to Arby's, then to the park before the afternoon storm hit.

And Mr. B and Mikey are all, "Come play with us! Climb up here! You can't catch me! I slide first!". And I'm all, "I am so gonna catch you and tickle the snot outa you and ya'll are gonna LOSE!" Well, I didn't actually say it, but I was totally thinking it, c'mon. What I said was more like, "Oh, I don't know! You might be tooooo fast for me! I don't think I can catch you!".

There were a couple of kids there when we got there and the moms were sitting on a bench in the shade, gossiping about the moms they both knew and discussing the inferior parenting styles of those said women. I could tell that it was a deep and emotional conversation as they continued to "pick a little, talk a little" in comfort.

I, on the otherhand, was running up and down teeny stairs, sliding down slides as long as my legs, and grasping onto burning hot fireman poles while chasing after little monkeys. After one little boy threw sand on my son for the third time, his mom looked over and sweetly said, "Bradley, honey, don't do that! The sand is dirty." and quickly resumed her conversation.
When the other womans little girl shoved Mikey down the slide, her mom said, "Sweetheart, play nice!" By that time, I was starting to get a little aggrivated with these street urchins and their perfect mommies who are sitting in the shade, because they are totally missing the first 12 times that the kids do something wrong, and then they yell accross the playground for them to stop!! Sheeeeesh!! How effective is that? How about NOT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!

So my solutions could be one of 4 things:

I could go up to the little boy and tell him that if he gets near my son again with any sand, I will pry open his little mouth and fill it with the dirty grit.

I could tell my boys to shove or throw sand back.

I could ask the moms to take a more active role in their kids playtime (what I was really thinking was; ask the moms to get offa their sour, bulging, gossiping booties and take care of these rotton, ratty, monsters! ahem...I meant children...obviously not an option).

I could have some group playtime - you know, an organized game.

I decide that we are going to play a game. I like games, and I want the boys to learn to play with others (the other two needed a lesson also). "How about playing tag?" I ask the kids. "Yeah!!" they say. (You know, hindsight being what it is, I probably should have chosen another game. Hemmm, I'll jot this one down as a "Shining Mommy Moment"...or not) So we get a little more organized and we start playing tag. This works well, but we still have a little directing to do with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (real names: Bradley and Bailey). "Oh, let's not be tooooo rough with the little ones." I calmly ask Dee. "Um, you don't need to tag him that hard, Dum." and "Hey! One a time on the slide." or "Do not touch his glasses again!" then "I think I heard your mommy calling you" and finally "Is that your ball rolling into the street?". By this time, the moms are getting aggrivated that someone else is dictating to their children and begrudgingly leave the comfort of the shade and start walking over to the playground.

"Stay away from those boys, Dee and Dum!" mom #1 shouts. "Don't play with them, they look like they are playing their own game" says mom #2. "Come here Dee!" says #1, "Come here right now! No! We are leaving, you can't stay any more. Don't go under that - I said DON'T! Get over here right now young lady. No, you cannot go down the slide one more time. I said - stop tha - don't go - can you hear me? Ok, 1......2....if you don't get over here by the count of three, you're gonna be in BIG trouble! 1.......2......2 1/2.......2 3/4.....I'm almost to 3! Stop that! It's time to go! Do you want something to eat? Are you hungry? Let go get some ice cream! 1.......2....... 2 1/2......Bailey Nicole, get over here right now. Am I going to have to come over there and get you? I really don't want to do that! I'll get sand in my sandles. GET OVER HERE! 1.........2.......2 1/2.......Ok, here I come and I'm not happy!! I mean it! Get your butt over here!" Mom #1 then proceeds to precariously pick her way throught the nasty field of sand to try to get Dee. Then, seeing that the sand is much "ickier" than she anticipates, she turns back and starts yelling from the sidelines again.

Mom of Dum, on the other hand, yells and says, "Get you butt over here right now or I'm gonna spank you!" to which Dum yells back, "No!!! I'm still playing!". Dum is rather angry so I should have known better than to think that mom could take care of everything, but right then, Mr. B came toddling by on the bridge. "I'm a troll and you can't pass!" (well, at least he got the troll part right), and Mr. B, not yet instructed in the ways of the 4 year old temper tantrum, innocently says, "No, thank you." and trys to push his way (rather roughly, I will admit) between the troll and the bridge. The troll leans back, pulls his hand back, and gets ready to whollip my almost 2 year old son.

This is it...the last straw. I take two steps and am on the kid in a minute. I grab his wrists (firmly but not hurting him) and tell him that he cannot hit little babies, it's not nice. Dum screams like mad when I catch him in the act "I didn't hit him! Let me go! I'm telling! He pushed me first! He started it! Owwwwwww!"

Dee is watching this scene and must have realized that nobody was watching her, so she tried, once again, to push little Mikey down the slide. In his attempt to not go down the slide sideways, he grasped empty air until he felt something solid and he held onto it. Except that solid thing happens to be the little girl's skirt. And he pulls it down. And she falls down the slide along with Mikey. Oh, brother....it looks bad for us.

Seeing the small scene of chaos before them, the mothers finally concede and quickly make their way through the "icky" sand towards the screaming children.

They are mad at me and ask me how I could let my children cause so much trouble.

I ask them how they enjoyed their chat in the shade.

They glare at me.

I let the screaming troll go. I get down and pick Mikey up out of the sand. They say, "She can't be their mother, look at her playing around, look at her hair. Look! She's dirty!" As if I wasn't there to hear them. Making sure the boys are ok, I look at these mothers and say, "As a Mom, I would rather get dirty, sweaty, and grimy while playing with my kids than get dirty, sweaty, and grimy while yelling at my kids and picking their spoiled bodies up outa the sand."

As they walked away muttering the words, "Irresponsible! Do you want ice cream? Disrespectful! I'm gonna count to three! Rude! Do you want something to cry about? Immature! Because I said so!" over the wailing of their kids they were dragging, I smiled as I climbed back up the steps to catch two little monkeys. I am one of the luckiest women alive to know what I know and to enjoy what I do. But I still wanted to knock #1's big, ugly, poofy, dumb, frizzy block off.

Here He Is!!!

Wow! Just when I was about to go searching for some other place to host our little family blog site, blogger gets back on track and everything seems right in the world again. We also recently returned from driving around and visiting family for a week, so I was able to calm down a little about this silly situation.

So, here he is. Mr. Bentley with his cute little coke bottle, ahem, I mean glasses, on. I will be updating more soon, but here's a quick shot of him eating dinner (which is now a MUCH less of a messy affair than it had been before.

Two days after he got them, he scratched them and we only get one new pair a year (for a two year old!!! give me a break!), so he is just dealing with it for now. Then, while riding his little trike around in the kitchen, yes - it's that big, and he took the glasses off and promtly ran them over. I panicked! After all, these are corrective, they have to stay on so the next pair won't be as strong. Oh, and did I mention that this happened on the Thursday before we were suppossed to leave on our trip to see the family? Yep...I called the eye doc and the girl says, "Oh, come in right now. We don't have any appointments. Tomorrow we are completely booked all day and we aren't open on Saturday". I roll my eyes and tell her that if I leave right now, I still won't be there for another hour and a half. But we are leaving on Sunday and we can't just let him not wear his glasses for 9 days. Sheesh, the things ya do for your kids. So we all hop in the car and leave for SV immediately to get the things bent back into shape. He still has to get new frames.

It's really hard to get him to wear them after about 4 in the afternoon. He is so polite when I say, "Hey, sweetie! Come put your glasses back on please!". He relpies with, "No, thank you, Momma". And this is only the first few weeks....This one is going to be a loooooooooooong row to hoe.....

Here's The Picture...

I don't know what's up with blogger right now, but I can't post any pics and it's aggrivating because I like to post w/pics. It just doesn't seem fun w/out them. Sheeesh....they'll be hearing from me shortly....

News From The Lambsons...

This isn't the greatest picture, but it's all we have right now. We will have more later. Or not!! Blogger STINKS!!! It won't let me download any pictures right now, so you'll just have to read this w/out one. How fun is that? Sorry. Will post ASAP!!!

Here I am again, with another stressful week behind me. Not only did Gila Man cut his wrist really badly at work, but Mr. B is cutting 4 new teeth and has been up every 2 hours at night for the last 4 days. Then the front door latch broke while we were outside and we were locked out for an hour until we remembered we had left one of the windows open. The cooler pump went out, the handles and hinges fell off my doors in the kitchen... sheesh! Things have just been a little off this week. BTW...I'm still happy to have a glass, I just need to vent a little.

The biggest news for our little family right now is that Mr. B (who will be 2 on October 25th) had his eyes checked and is extremely farsighted. Because of this, his eyes have to work very hard to see things up close and by the end of the day, his eye muscles just give up and his right eye rolls in toward his nose. I feel bad saying this, but I was heartbroken!! Oh, sure...things could have been worse, MUCH worse. If we had waited to see if he would "grow out of the problem" as was suggested to me by some friends, he would most certainly had to have had surgery. I don't know how parents deal with major illnesses in their children. I mean, the whole way home I kept thinking, "What did I do wrong? Could I have done something differently? Like eat more carrots while I was pregnant? Or chicken? Or fish? Or feed my kid more vegtables?". I just felt so guilty.

And face it...Nobody wants their child to have any handicaps in life. No matter how small. I don't want anything bad to happen to my little boy in his life...EVER!! No pee-wee football for this little man! He will be the newest "bubble boy"! Oh, help the first girl who breaks his sweet little heart.

Ok, so I'm going a little overboard and ya'll are thinking that I'm fanatical or something. Some would say you're right (I think that would include my husband, but don't listen to him. He has a biased opinion), but I do think that he looks cute. Like the little boy from Jerry McGuire and Stuart Little. And they stared in movies with big, famous, people...right? But if I had things my way, my sweet boy would learn all the lessons in life with out feeling even a little bit of pain or having hard times. But then, I guess he really wouldn't learn much that way. It's just a Momma's dream for her baby.

My Glass

Here is a picture of Mr. B with all his grandparents. I have one of these of me when I was his age, and I love it.

"I don't care if my glass is half-full or half-empty. I'm just happy to have a glass"


I don't know who wrote that but I think it's awesome. That's how I'm feeling right now - so darn lucky to have what I have and be who I am (though sometimes I am a little to kooky even by my standards, and that's A LOT). I HATE (not a word I use lightly) my hair and my new haircut, but at least I have hair. My head aches from watching other people's children all day, but I was able to spend this whole day with my son. I have heartburn from eating a boatload (really, like, a smallish cruise ship) of spaghetti for dinner, but at least I had dinner and got full from it. I just had to put more gas in my vehicle so I can drive tomorrow, but I have a REALLY nice vehicle and I am thankful that it's so dependable (AND I had the money for the gas, double points!). My house is a disaster right now! There are toys in every corner of the living room, wet footprints and towels in the foyer from our water fight this afternoon, crumbs on the counter from lunch, crayons and paper on the table, and I am just to tired to pick it all up. But I can look at that stuff and think about what I was doing with those kids today, and I immediatly smile.

I am one darn lucky woman. I am happy to have a glass.

FREAKIN' OUT!!!

Ok, so this picture! It totally faaarrreeeeeked me out, I mean, I didn't realize that my son was thrown so precariously into the air. This is what happens when Momma sneaks down to the port-a-jon with her roll of toilet paper, hand wipes, Purell, & a flashlight. Sheesh, that's why I hold it. Things like this happens when Momma is outa sight (that, and the porta-jon things? Ewwwwwwww!).

Here's a pic of us camping (yes, again) and you should appreciate being able see it and the blog you're reading, because coming back to civilization has taken quite a toll on me. I had a hard time answering the phone, I couldn't type, burnt the toast, just sorta FLIPPED OUT, ya know...just like always.

So here I am, home, typing away after yet another fun-filled day of taking care of other people's kids. I don't mind it so much, but I have a new girl and we have to establish the rules, enforce them, learn her likes/dislikes, all that jazz. She's cute and sweet and nine years old ("Geez, I'm not a little kid" she informed me today) and she's the most difficult child I have had the pleasure to watch. Why, you ask? How could this darling little blond stick of cuteness be difficult in any way? Well, because she's SMART. I mean really, really, smart. She read 500 books last year in school. F.I.V.E. H.U.N.D.R.E.D. My hubby hasn't read that many books in his LIFE!!!

So we have this super-smart girl, a 3 year old and an almost 2 year old. And she gets bored very quickly. When the little ones go down for their nap, I thought it would be fun to send up our tent in the living room. Oh, and it is soooo fun, for about 15 minutes. There we are, sittin' in the tent, and she says, "So...whatcha wanna talk about?" "Um," I sophisticatedly reply, "How about we look at the stars?"

Needless to say, I have to bust out with the learning kit that Gila Man bought for his N.A.U. class and try to trick her with money questions . But ACK!! She cannot be fooled by money. So I jump to patterns...piece of cake. Rubber band puzzles. Done. Counting tenths, & hundreths. Will I ever challenge her? Then I see it. The little bag of........fractions. She is going into fourth grade. She has done some of this, but not all of it (chuckling menacingly) so I go all the way. I present her with 1/6's, 1/8's, 1/3's, and 1/16's.

And she is fooled!! I WIN I WIN I WIN!! HEE HEE HEE!!! What? Like age matters when you're celebrating a well won victory?? BOOOO-YA!! Sheesh, people. Give me a break. Math is, like, my total, absolute, WORST subject and it was sooooo cool to actually know more about a math subject than the person I'm with. So she's nine years old, so what? Did I mention that she was a SMART nine-year-old?

She simply looked at me, basking in my glory over the fraction pieces that I was now doing my victory dance on, and said "You are the weirdest babysitter I've ever had" and walked out of the tent. I wonder if her mom will bring her back on Monday.

Once Upon A Time...

Oh, well. This looks all jacked up, but I tried to do it differently this time and naturally, I goofed. Here are some of the pics I took while camping on up at Riggs Lake...I swear, if Mr. B had any idea of what heaven looks like, this is it to him. He got out of the car and DID NOT STOP until we put him to bed. It was great!

There's Gila Man, Mr. B. and I, all sitting on a log in the shade after enjoying breakfast, and on the rock is "Iron Will" (in Pink) as I will call her, because that's what she has (I would love to watch someone try to take candy from THIS baby!!). She's 6 months younger than Mr. B, but can still kick his tush. Noah was trying will all his might to get in the lovely lake of murkey water, but had to be accompanied by Dad, which spoiled all his fun. We did let him play in the tub of water next to the fire that night, as he was coated in dirt and tree sap from running amok with the other children that arrived that day.

Oh, yes. The children. Remember how I had stated that the twin sister was coming up who had 4 kids under the age of 7? Well, I was wrong...SOOOOO WRONG. She also brought her cousin who had 3 kids - and they are all under the age of 5. No, really. I'm not kidding!!! That made a total of 9 children under the age of 5 running around in the woods and trying to sneak down to the lake and throwing weeds in the fire & therefore making a thick, stinky, smoke and drinking half a pop and spilling the rest so we were attacked by ants and gnats, and screaming bloody murder whenever someone tried to prevent them from climbing down the 5 ft stone wall encircling our campsite. The twin also brought her dog that HATES her brother's dog so we had the little weiner dogs barking and nipping and whining at our feet for hours.

I guess I have to admit that I'm a little bit of a control freak. Gila Man says "You're just a little bit compulisive, sweetie." Is there such a thing as a little bit compulisive? I doubt it, but if so, that gives me hope. This situation was competely out of my hands. It was hard for me to deal with. We (by "we", of course, I mean "I") dealt with it by going on long, leisurly walks together, just the three of us. Holding hands, enjoying the smell of the forest, watching Mr. B. get totally and completely exhausted so he would take a 3 hour nap when we returned. It was very nice.

Also got a little fishing in too. Caught 2 brown trout, but gave them to someone who had already caught 2, as the cleaning station was closed and it just wasn't worth the hassle. That was our trip, but there's more to come of course. That was just a quick overview. I'm just recovering enough to post this and recount it for ya'll.

*Singing* A Camping We Will Go...

A camping we will go, a camping we will go, hi-ho-the-dairy-oh, a camping we will go!!

So my husband and I have been planning this wonderful vacation where we will drive all over Southern, Northern, and Eastern AZ, then to Colorado, and end in Utah. But his boss called and said it had to be cancelled. TOTALLY BOGUS, right?!?! Well, let me tell you....we were hoppin' mad (and that's REALLY mad in our house), I mean we were pretty ticked off and all, until I said, hey! You've got a coupla days off this week, let's all go camping! By all I mean myself, my husband, and our 20-month-old son. Yikes! Are we nuts or what? But we have food and a coupla ponchos, what more do you need in the woods near a lake? Oh, yes...we do have a tent, almost forgot about that.

Obviously, we aren't really big campers, so we are going with some friends of ours that are. Big time campers. They've got the whole menu planned, dutch oven dinners, full breakfasts, I mean the works! Except they have a 13-month-old daughter. And a dog. That barks. A LOT. But not too bad, right? They'll all have fun. I mean we'll all have fun. Riiiiiiiiight. Then the bombshell...my friend's husband's twin sister is going to join us. And her 4 kids under the age of 7. Without her husband. AAAAARRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

*Humming to myself to keep from going insane at the thought of this impending camping trip* A camping we will go, a camping we will go, hi-ho-the-dairy-oh (oh, that just makes is sound so pleasant, now doesn't it?), a camping we will go...

My Little Book Worm...

Oh, my little bookworm...
Every kid has their favorite story. Mine was Green Eggs & Ham, my husbands was James & The Giant Peach, my best friends was Where The Wild Things Are.

My son loves books. He has since he was a baby. See, I took this Children's Literature class when I was pregnant with him, and this class showed me where to look and what to look for in a good book. I learned about the different types of genres, the different themes, lessons, rules, and just...stuff...about so many different books. Did you know that there is a different sort of Cinderella story in EVERY culture? If you don't know who Jim Trelesse is (I don't know if the spelling is right on that), then you should look him up and know that he has really turned the world around when it comes to reading to children. It used to be nice for parents and teachers to read to kids. Now it's REQUIRED!!!

Needless to say, I learned how important it is to read to a child. That class and the fact that when I was 13 we moved into a house that had been built and previously owned by Amish people. That meant there was no TV or cable hookup. N.O.N.E. So we had a TV and a VCR. That's it. So, we read. A LOT.

Then...I took this highly infuencial class while pregnant with my first child. When he was 5 days old (and finally started to nurse), I started reading to him. First, it was the instructions to my new breast pump (sorry guys). Then I read all the pamplets about bringing home a new wonderful baby to him, hoping he would catch on...he did, of course. Then came the Parenting magazine articles, the Babywise book (that saved my life), and bits and pieces out of What To Expect When You're Expecting. Then I started reading baby books to him. One of his favorites was Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? In fact, that was his very favorite. Until now. Now he runs around humming the tune "The Wheels On The Bus Go Round & Round", but he only hums the "Round and Round" part. It would be pretty cute if he wasn't so facinated with that book and that song. When he hears someone honk their horn, he hums the "Round and Round" part. Same goes for when he hears a baby cry, or sees a wheel...ANY wheel. He goes to bed with a book and seems to wake up with a different one every morning, but I am so glad he loves books and not video games. I think they would be much harder to sleep with!

Oh, The Shame...

Well, here's my snazzy cute PINK crown I got to wear for my birthday! Isn't it just, soooooo....hideous?!?! This would mostly be because I have a deep hatred (a word that I don't use lightly) for this color. Why? Could it be that I was the only girl in my family and therefore I was forced to wear it? That every accessory for every Barbie or Cabbage Patch Kid I had was some shade of puice? That year after year (long after I was hating the 11th grade) when school shopping time came around, I STILL had to get some sort of pink shoe. But I'm not bitter about it, oh no! Not when my husband comes in, stands over my shoulder and says,
"You're putting that on your site? I mean, c'mon! There are cold, hungry, lonely people in the world. At least you had money to buy shoes."
So here's a pic of me in this cute crown, sitting in a comfy chair, getting ready to open more gifts that some kings get buried with, and looking at a cake the size of one of those starving countries (more like a big slab of humble pie). Sheesh, Gila Man...way to spoil my fun...
Have a Happy Fourth!!

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Wow!! It's my birthday! I love my birthday (my friends say that's a sign of mental illness, and I have to say they're probably right!!). I am not scared of my birthday. I love it; the anticipation, the fun, the food, the friends, the CAKE!!! I have resloved to eat cake once a year from now on. Because cake for everyone's birthday? Hello!?! Can we say fat pants? And who wants to wear fat pants in the summer? So I am really lookin' forward to my cake tonight.

Because my husband had to work today (no he did not take the day off...this should count as a holiday or something...sheesh, I'm thinking about dumping him! The nerve!) my best friend Sarah (yep, same name...even same initials! Scary huh?) came over this morning and made me my favorite breakfast, which I have also resigned to eating once a year, biscuits and gravy! Oh, the yumminess! And there were balloons, and cards, and a cute (*cough* hideous *cough*) pink princess crown that I HAD to wear or I couldn't eat the yummy breakfast. How much fun was that?

The fun doesn't end yet! I get more royal treatment tonight when I go to dinner at my parents place! I love my birthday, it just never ceases to be fun for me...Until my brother reminds me how close to 30 I am. But I really don't care. REALLY, because when I start to look like I'm 30 and act like I'm 30 I should be about 45 years old, and I am totally ok with that!

What's That Falling From The Sky??

So, I'm driving home from picking up my prescription (I have a sinus infection caused by allergies caused by the incesant blowing dust out here), and the strangest thing happened. First of all, there were clouds in the sky...enough to block out the sun - can you imagine the sun not shining out here?...and they weren't white, they were dark grey and BEAUTIFUL! So that was hard to deal with. Then, as I'm driving, these little specks of water start hitting my windshield. I'm thinkin', "Gee, the sky must be fallin", but I think if the sky were falling it would make a dent in my car or something.
So I call my husband and tell him what going on and he asks if my windshield wipers were on. Now, the only time I use the wipers is when I get a particularly nasty bug on my windshield and have to try to get it off with the spray that simply manages to smear gutst all over the place so I can't even see anymore and the wipers make that rasberry sound as they travel to and fro.

Um...anyways...I suppose I might be exagerating a little about the whole thing, but if you don't live in Southern Arizona, you just don't understand the importance of rain. While in line at the store (to pay for my prescription) a lady told me that her horses FREAKED out because they had never heard the sound of rain on the tin roof of their corral before.
So along the lines of freaking out, I would like to let you know how my 19 month old reacted to seeing rain for the first time ever...
As I was getting Mr. B ready for bed, I could smell the rain coming, and when I heard it falling outside his window, I jumped at the chance to have a little fun. I was changing his diaper right then and thought, "Who needs a diaper when we're going to play in the rain?". So I run out on the front porch with my nakey boy in my arms and say "Look! Look at the rain!!" He took a look at that water pouring off the roof and said "What is dat?" "Rain!!" I exclaimed. He promptly buried his head in my shoulder and clung to me like a little spider monkey. "But Sweetie, LOOK!!" I said, "RAIN!!!" but he would have no part of it. I decided that I could not let my child be afraid of the rain. No way. So I ran out on the front sidewalk and hopped up and down a little. He looked up, buried his head in my shoulder and started to whimper. I went back and set him on the covered porch (though he protested) and ran back out on the sidewalk, doing a little "rain dance" for him. I jumped up and down in the (teeny tiny) puddles, waved my hands in the air, and twirled in circles so he could see how much fun I was having out there. My jammies were now wet, but by then I was having so much fun that I didn't care. He looked at me and edged closer to the sidewalk. Then took another few steps until he could put his little, pudgy hands out touch the drops of cool water as they plummeted from the roof. And then, he smiled. A big beautiful smile of a child who has just done something amazing. Of course, if you live out where we do, touching drops of water that are randomly falling from the sky is amazing, so I guess he had something to smile about.

Foiling Dad

Ok...so here's what happened with Mr. B getting all muddy and wet...
Since we live so close to my parents (10 minutes) we are able to see a lot of them and they are able to be a big part of our son's life. I invited them to dinner last week and while I was cooking, (and my mom was chatting with me), the men (and Mr. B) all went outside in the little yard. My dad and husband eventually gravitated off in the direction of the shop, which of course contains various power tools. 10 minutes later, dinner is done and I'm callin them in to wash up. "Where is our son?" I ask "Um, he's somewhere here in the little yard." (when my husband says "UM" when answering a question, I know something is up...)
I don't panic - the entire 2 acres is fenced w/field fencing and he's in the little yard inside that big yard, but still...I hear him laughing in the front yard and realize he's up to no good - I know that laugh! Sure enough, when we round the corner, we encounter a sopping wet little boy, drinking out of the hose on a warm summer evening. How can I be mad? I rush inside to grab the camera so I can capture this moment - that of a fun loving little boy, enjoying life in the country...getting dirty, getting wet, being a child. I love the look on his sweet little face...see the smile below...

Oooooh, The Arizona Sun...

Well, here we are! All three of us adults in the pool with 5 children in our arms. Are we crazy?? YES!!! (There I am in the back with Mr. B and Mikey kicking like mad to get out of my arms.) Sheesh. I don't know how two boys raised in Arizona with the heat and the lack of rain can be such water bugs.
Here's the deal...my Mom's pool is kinda small, so the rule is that only the kids can wear sunscreen - not the adults. Fine, right? Cuz how much time do we really spend in the water anyway? Maybe an hour before the kids get tired and start swallowing so much water they look like little Etheopian children with their protruding bellies. We get out of the water, sit in the shade, and open our picnic lunches - PB & J sandwiches, YUM!!! Then, while the children are playing in the little water table, the three of us decide that we want to get a tan and LAY OUT IN THE SUN. Yep, you heard me right. We set up the lounge chairs, took off our towels and actually layed outside while the sun was shining.
I have to tell you that all three of us are wearing our brand new swimsuits, and they just happen to be bikinis. This is the first time ANY of us has worn a bikini. So just sit a minute and imagine the whitness...oh yes, it's a disturbing thought.
There we are, in the sun, whitness glowing, skin burning. "Hey", I ask. "Did either of you put sunscreen on when you got out of the pool?". "Nope", they both answer. I announce that we better get out of the sun and we did - not a moment tooooooo soon!! We are all fried to a crispy crunch. I haven't been able to sleep for two days; I can't roll over because of the burn between my shoulderblades. The other Sarah can't sleep 'cuz her shoulders are so crisp, and Kristi can't really move 'cuz of the redness on her legs. The kids are fine though - not a bit of color, and that's good thing here in AZ.
This morning, Sarah calls and says, "What are you doing tomorrow?" All I can say is "I'm NOT swimming!"
But it's funny how I had to think about it for a minute because out here, the water is soooo alluring; almost hypnotizing...maybe if I put on a shirt....

Here's The Picture...

I don't know what I did wrong, but the picture didn't upload so here it is (now the next blog will make much more sense!!).

A Little Late For Memorial Day, But...

A Little Late For Memorial Day, But...

This here is a picture of little Mr. B sitting in a ball turret, cute and comfy as can be. Can you imagine a full grown man fitting in there, with his knees at his chest, shooting at the enemy and knowing if anything goes wrong, he will probably die? When I went to church on the Sunday before memorial day, I got up to lead the music and I realized that we didn't have one single patriotic song on the list to sing. So I asked if we might sing a patriotic song - they are in the hymn book, so I thought it would be very appropiate. "No, we don't sing those songs on Memorial Day, that's not what the day is for. Today is Sunday". That's what I was told by the leaders in our church.
I'm not one who ususally bucks the system, but I do have a little brain of my own and I like to use in once in a while to keep the cobwebs out and the gears from sqeakin' to awful loud when I think. NOT WHAT THE DAY IS FOR?!?!?!?! Then what is it for? Having BBQ's and picnics, and eating greasy, fried food until we burst? Sheesh...in light of that moment of anger I felt in church (and have since repented of) I would like to give a little info about our (well, my husband's) Grandpa Delbert's ordeal he went through during WWII when his big bomber plane was shot down over Germany (or France occupied by Germany)....
I went into the service on Jan 6th 1943. We were shot down on our 19th bombing mission, near Laon France on February 25th, 1944, (Maxine's mother's birthday) and I was in The American Memorial Hospital in Reims France (Under German occupation) for three months. Then we were moved to Stalag Luft IV near Kolberg, way up on the Baltic sea in what is now a part of Poland.
We left Stalag Luft IV on Feb 6 1944 and marched six hundred miles in the dead of winter, sleeping on the open ground and in hay barns and surviving on a starvation diet. Out of the 6000 who left the Prison camp only 2000 of us walked across the Elba River to freedom 87 days later, around the first of May. I was a prisoner of war for 14 months. After we were liberated, I spent three months in France waiting for a ship to bring me home. I was discharged on November 25th 1945. I was in the service just one month under three years.

I am so thankful - really, truly, thankful for what he has sacrificed for the freedom that my small family enjoys every day. What an amazing man. And he makes up a particle of the men who served then and who serve today. I put up my big flag for every occasion, and I always have a few little ones flying around the garden. My favorite color is red, white, and blue. Really. I try to go out of my way to thank my service men & women - I am scared to think "What would I do, where would I be, without them?". So THANK YOU to everyone who has served - in ANY way to help us keep what we worked so hard to gain - our most precious and beloved freedom.

Wow! Now Everyone Can See Us!!!

Hello All!!!! I posted blogs and pictures and updates on our Yahoo! 360 site for a few months, but nobody wanted to log on to see them, so we are now on a site that anyone can see at anytime with out signing in. HORRAY!! Helaman suggests that I cut and paste the other blogs from our 360 site, so I'll work on doing that. The thing is, right now we are having strange weather...clouds and wind and HUGE dust storms, so the internet is somewhat un-reliable. We haven't been able to connect on a regular basis, but it should be must better now. Check back often to see what's going on in Sunny Southern Arizona with the Lambsons!!!