Boys and Men

So we have the new mac, right? And it has all these really awesome features, right? (As you have no doubt seen with the photo booth pics I have been posting) Wanna hear about the next cheesy yet cool feature of the Macs? They have this really cool voice recognition application that you can set to the specific tones of your voice and you can make commands with a kind of "hands free" option. Well, needless to say, Helaman started working this whole thing out in about oh, 2 minutes and he was able to say things like, "Close this application" and it would. Then he would ask, "What time is it?" and the female voice of the computer (you can set it to man or woman) would say, "It's one o'clock".

Well, this was really fun until he found that he could set a "word-prompt" to say before each command, so the computer wouldn't just close an application if you were talking about it. I was thinking a good prompt would be "hey" or "please" because it would be easy to remember. Oh, well for cryin' out loud, that just didn't happen because I'm married to HELAMAN and he is who he is. You wanna know what word he chose as a prompt?!? WOMAN. Really. Like, "Woman, get over here and do the dishes!" or, "Woman, get over here and rub my feet!".

Now, I am a very independent woman and I don't like to let anyone push me around, and I thought, "Maybe he just needs to tell SOMEONE what to do" so I let it slide. It was kind of fun to say "Woman! Tell me a joke" and hear the computer woman's voice say "Knock,Knock" to us. Well, little did I know that our silly commands would come around in a funny way to bite me in the rear-end.

While Noah and I were shopping in W@l-M@rt (which I would totally avoid if there was a Target within 50 miles), on Monday I was in the aisle next to the cheese when I hear Noah mumble something that didn't sound very appropriate.
"What did you say, Mr. Bentley?"
"Woman!" he replied, "Let's go!"
"What?!?!?" I answered, shocked.
"Now you say, go where?" he said.
"Go where?" I replied, wondering where this could lead.
"Woman, go get me some cheese!" he stated.

Now, I tried to calmly explain to him that the word "woman" was only to be used when talking to the computer, not to Momma. But while I was letting him know that it was disrespectful when to me in that manner, I happened to glance over and see a small group of grown Mexican men, laughing hysterically and pointing to my son. As we know, the Mexican culture isn't exactly known for how they hold doors open for the female counter-parts in their society and I can only imagine that they thought this little red-headed American boy was right on track.

I think I'm going to have to change the word-prompt to "Sweetheart".